How long is forever?
by Alumi
Summary: She had developed an illness that was slowly killing her, and she knew this, yet she didn't dare tell her friends. She could only watch them and wait for the inevitable. / fem!Kuroko / Pairing ? undecided.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: She had developed an illness that was slowly killing her, and she knew this, yet she didn't dare tell her friends. She could only watch them and wait for the inevitable. / fem!Kuroko / Pairing ? undecided.**

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Kuroko covered her mouth as she coughed. She rubbed his nose in discomfort. The coughing was worst as of late. She stared at the snow, which was falling gently from the sky and landed onto the ground below, forming a thick, white blanket. She was freezing, but she was still glad it was winter. It gave her an excuse to blame the coughing on the cold. It made it easier for her to hide.

She remembered that doctor's appointment as if it was only yesterday, and not a few weeks ago.

"_Kuroko-san, I'm sorry to inform you of this, but you seemed to have developed an illness, one that was discovered quite recently and that doctors and scientists are still researching."_

_Kuroko asked, "Are you telling me there is no cure?"_

_The doctor pursed his lips. "The cure is in development. Unfortunately, it may take several years before it could be tested. But by then, you'll be..." _

Kuroko laughed quietly to herself, an action that was out of her character, but even she could not act normally when she just found out that he had some disease that only happened in rare cases. She didn't laugh because it was funny; she laughed at how bad her luck was.

She closed his eyes as she sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall of Serin's gym...But at least she discovered it after Seirin won the Winter Cup. If she knew beforehand, it would have been a bittersweet victory for her. The doctor said she might have only a few years at most, maybe even less.

At that, she opened her eyes, and stood up. She entered the gym and walked up to the basketball that was laying on the middle of the indoor basketball court. She reached down and held it in her hands. While she took a stance and held the ball up, she let the memories of her time with the Seirin basketball team, the Teikou basketball team, and all her friends fly by in her mind. She threw the basketball, and it went into the basket perfectly.

Her arms dropped to her sides. It was only mere months ago, when she wasn't able to shoot a single shot without missing. The world sure had a cruel sense of humor. Who would have thought that she would increase her basketball skills dramatically, help her team win the Winter Cup, and hope to play on Seirin's team for the rest of high school, only to find out later that she was dying?

Oh, the irony.

She didn't want to believe it. She said nothing about it to her teammates, and continued to go to basketball practice as if nothing happened, but as days passed, it became apparent that she wasn't in the best of health. She was more tired than usual, and continuing to play basketball wasn't helping. It was only a matter of time before her friends will realize that she wasn't having a cold but something much worse. As long as she was near them, she couldn't hide it for long. She didn't want them to know. They would only be concerned, and she hated to be a burden and be the source of that worry.

"I guess I have no choice," she whispered to herself. "I'll have to quit basketball, don't I?"

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**A/N: Okay, for one, before you throw medical facts at me, I'm not a medical expert. So I'm not sure what the heck I'm writing. So beware that anything that happens in this story is purely made up. I hope you understand that. Thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Kuroko went to speak with Riko just when basketball practice started afterschool.

She took a deep breath before saying, "Coach, I'm officially leaving the Seirin basketball team."

Riko gaped at her at first, and her eyes bulged out. Then she shut her mouth and pursed her lips tightly. She crossed her arms in irritation. "Kuroko, you're not serious, are you? You're really bad at making jokes. This isn't funny."

Kuroko shook her head. "No, I'm completely serious." She held up a small, white envelope to her. "Here is my resignation letter."

Finally, Riko gasped. So Kuroko was serious. She furrowed her eyebrows, and she gave Kuroko an incredulous look. Then she suddenly screeched, "Kuroko, you're seriously quitting the team?!"

Kuroko winced as Riko's voice echoed off the walls repeatedly. Riko was loud enough for everyone else the gym to hear. That was not good. She couldn't blame her, though. Kuroko told her that she was quitting right out of the blue without a warning. Any coach would be mad if one of the best players on the team just went up and left. Kuroko took her eyes off of Riko and saw her other teammates looking at them with bewildered expressions on their faces.

"Did you just say what I thought you just said?!" Hyuuga asked.

"Kuroko...is going to quit?" Kiyoshi sadly asked.

Kuroko felt a pang of guilt just then. She didn't want to disappoint her team, but things were best this way. She searched for the teammate who helped her defeat the Generation of Miracles, the one who she referred to as her light. Kagami was dribbling the ball but dropped it when he heard the commotion. He was staring at her, his eyes mixed with confusion and some other emotion that she couldn't quite identify. This was turning out worse than she thought. She was planning to politely tell Riko that she wasn't planning to stay with the team anymore and quietly leave. She should have known that it wouldn't be that easy.

Soon, one by one, the rest of the Serin team headed toward where she and Riko was. Kagami walked up to her. His fierce eyes gazed into her own before she quickly looked away. She couldn't bear to look at him or any of their faces right now, or else her resolve to do this would break.

Kuroko gulped. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I love basketball as much as I used to...That's why I'm quitting." It was a lie. She really loved basketball and will continue to love it, but staying on the team wasn't an option.

She bowed her head. "I'm really sorry."

Voices answered at the same time.

"But-"

"That isn't-"

"What-"

Before she could answer any of them, she bolted for the gym's exit.

She heard Kagami call out for her, "Hey, Kuroko! Wait a second!"

She ignored him and left the gym. Maybe later, he would find her and try to get answers out of her, but for now, she wanted to be a coward and hide – hide from her friends and pretend that everything was fine – that everything was going to be okay.

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**A/N: Hope this chapter wasn't bad. Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows! It makes me happy that some readers actually like this story. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, it's a big deal for me that so many people like this story! Thank you very much. I enjoyed the favorites, follows, and the reviews.**

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_"Huh, why is she on our team?"_

_"Because the coach let her."_

_"But we're a male basketball team, and she's a girl!"_

"_The rule handbook didn't list it as one of the rules to not let a female join the team."_

"_Really? Then why the heck do they call it a male basketball team?"_

"_I don't know, but that's not important right now." Then Akashi turned his attention to Kuroko. "Well...Your name is Kuroko, is it? Welcome to the first string, but I have to warn you that the practice here is tough, and laziness will not be ignored."_

"_I understand." Kuroko slightly bowed. "Thank you for accepting me on the team. I will do my best and..." _

...

Kuroko woke up to the sound of birds singing early in the morning. She blinked once and then twice. Then she rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes and sat up on her bed, moving her blanket off in the process. That was strange. She had a dream about the time she was accepted on Teikou's basketball team. She remembered being so happy about it back then. She wondered why she would dream about that. Maybe it had something to do with yesterday, when she revealed to Riko that she was no longer playing on Seirin's team anymore.

She got up from her bed and walked to stand next to her window. She drawled the curtains open and sunlight peeked out from the window and bleeded into the room. She opened the window and breathed in the fresh air.

It was early Saturday and she didn't have to go to school today. She was fine with that since Kagami was in the same class as her, and she didn't think she would be ready for the confrontation just yet.

She didn't think she'd ever be.

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The next day, on Sunday, she decided to leave the house for a bit. She was tired of staying at home all alone after Saturday. Her parents were hardly home because they had business trips overseas. She went to the doctor by herself, so they didn't know about her doctor's diagnosis of her illness yet. She planned to tell them someday since she was their daughter, but she wondered if it mattered. They rarely visited her or called her, and it felt as if they have forgotten they even had a daughter. They sent money to her so she could take care of herself, but in Kuroko's opinion, that didn't make up for the lack of contact between them.

As she walked past streets, she looked at the basketball in her hands. She brought it from her house on impulse. At times when she was really lonely, she would play basketball to help her get her mind off things. However, she hadn't felt lonely ever since she joined Seirin's basketball, but now that she quit, that dark loneliness came back full-force. She tightened her hold on the ball. Her resignation wasn't just hurting her teammates. It was hurting her as well.

Then she noticed the outlines of the park in the distance and walked faster. She was about to step on the park's basketball outside court when she saw the person that she wanted to avoid seeing the most.

It was Kagami. He was playing street basketball by himself. Taken by surprise, Kuroko turned around, and started to flee, taking a few steps away, hoping that he didn't notice her. She couldn't believe she forgotten. Kagami regularly played street basketball whenever there wasn't basketball practice at school. He loved basketball so much that he was willingly to spend all his free time playing it.

She was able to move a few more steps before she heard a familiar voice call out to her in surprise, "Kuroko?!"

She froze. This was bad. He saw her. No use running away now. Kagami was much faster than her, and he would catch up with her in no time at all. Impending dread made her arms shake, and she felt her heart beating faster than usual, she slowly turned around, while at the same time, she hid the basketball behind her back. Her eyes locked on with Kagami's. His eyes were looking at her quizzically before it turned into seriousness.

Kuroko muttered quietly, "Hello, Kagami-kun."

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**A/N: I'm not really good at description, so if some parts seem rushed, blame my bad writing skills. Still, I'll try to improve! So any advice will be helpful. Thank you for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: She had developed an illness that was slowly killing her, and she knew this, yet she didn't dare tell her friends. She could only watch them and wait for the inevitable. **

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Kuroko stayed where she was as Kagami ran over to her to talk to her directly. The last thing she expected was for her to meet him so soon.

Kagami gave Kuroko a calculating look, and Kuroko knew what he was about to say to her.

He said her name, "Kuroko, you ran off yesterday."

There was no use in denying that. "Yes, I did, didn't I?"

Kagami asked. "Want to explain why?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes, opting to look the basketball hoop behind him instead.

Kagami stared at her for a long moment before sighing. "Whatever. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine."

Kuroko flickered her eyes back at him. "What?"

Kagami said, "I'm not going to make you say what happened to make you want to quit all of a sudden." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I mean, it had to be a good reason, considering you were always so passionate about basketball." Then he pointed at the basketball she was hiding behind her. "And from what I can see behind you, I'm sure you're still passionate about it even now."

So he noticed that she was holding a basketball. Kuroko sighed a bit, knowing that it was futile to try and hide it, she held the basketball in plain view. She remarked, "You seem to have put a lot of thought into your answer."

Kagami frowned. "You sound as if I rarely put any thought in what I say."

It was not uncommon knowledge that Kagami could be quite hot-headed and let his temper make decisions for him sometimes, so Kuroko answered bluntly, "That's correct."

"Hey!" Kagami quipped indignantly. He looked as if he was about to say more, but then he shook his head. "Anyway, I'm going to have to trust your judgment on quitting the team. Because, you know, unlike me, you're not the type to make impulsive decisions."

Kuroko had to smile at that. Although Kagami and her started off with a shaky start when they first became fellow team members, there was no doubt now that a bond of friendship had formed between them. Kagami was a lot more open with her than the beginning. He trusted her.

Then Kagami added, "But if you ever feel comfortable to tell anyone, you can tell me."

She said gratefully, "Thank you, Kagami-kun. I'll keep that in mind." No one was keeping her from telling anyone, no one except herself. The thought of making others excessively worry about her didn't well with her. She didn't think she was ever going to tell him.

"Now that's talk over..." Kagami pointed a thumb toward the basketball court behind him. "I know that you quit the team, but that doesn't mean you're quitting basketball entirely, right? Do you want to play one-on-one with me?"

Kuroko nodded. "Sure. Just don't be angry when you lose."

Kagami raised his eyes brows in disbelief. "But you never win in one-on-one!"

Kuroko let go of her basketball and dribbled it. "There's a first in everything, Kagami-kun."

"We'll see about that."

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**A/N: Thank you so much to those who reviewed, favorite, and followed! Sorry for the long wait so far. I will try to continue this and I think I will have the Generation of Miracles appear soon. **

**Thanks for reading!**


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